Trent Breward

Stardom Valentine’s Cards to Give You a Chance at Finding Love

It’s not always easy to profess your love to a crush, especially when the pressure of Valentine’s Day looms over your romantic shoulders. Well, we at Wrestle Inn are here to ease your burden just a little. Show not only your love for your beloved but also your favourite Stardom wrestler!

All the mushy stuff has been put together for you, all you need to do is add the requisite names, then watch as their hearts flutter, their knees weaken and wait, for they may even acknowledge your existence! What a step forward that would be.

Are they a fan of the STARS faction? We bring you three different options with which to win them over!

If they don’t show up for your date after receiving this, they probably just fell asleep or missed the train. That’s the Mayu way after all!
Have that one special person who got away? Well even Hazuki came back to Stardom, so you still have a shot!
Teddy Bears are a classic Valentine’s gift/symbol. Set the scene with a Koguma/Bear card

Maybe you want to treat them like royalty? Well we have you covered with our range of Queen’s Quest Valentine’s cards!

Not sure which member is their favourite? Hedge your bets with this group version! (Hina DLC sold separately)
3/4s of the Stardom roster seemingly crush on Utami, and you too can set the mood of unrequited love
If you’re picking Saya, you probably already accidentally told them your feelings. Might as well lean into it
We can only hope that by using this card, you’ll have a better winning percentage than Lady C

Maybe you’re more into the Bad Boys and Girls? That’s ok, take a walk on the wild side with a couple of Oedo Tai themed cards.

She might be out injured, but that just means more time for dates!
Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure I could increase my romantic odds if I wore a mask
Unless you’re into that kind of thing of course. Some people like to get rough in the bedroom

Of course if you want to guarantee success, you’ll pick a Donna Del Mondo themed card. Because they always win.

“It’s that damn Giulia, she’s so hot right now” – Mugatu, from a deleted take from Zoolander (2001)
You could learn Tagalog to make sense of this, or you could just learn the only language that matters…the language of love
Is your crush a Maika fan? Well you struck gold my friend! Not only do they have exquisite taste, but you get to play two cards for the price of one. Regular Maika…
And a special rare ‘Bear’ Maika!
Big is strong, big is justice and big is cute. Do you know what else is big…?
Notice how clever the wordplay on this one is? That’s because I didn’t come up with it. Ryan’s married, so you know his romantic wordplay is a winner. Shame about the rest of these…
I mean…I wouldn’t literally. I’m not a flexible person and my back is shot from carrying this website. But the thought is there.

Wow, it’s a good thing I didn’t try and do something like this twenty years ago, my internet would have died by now! Time to take your love to infinity and beyond with the Cosmic Angels!

Their catch phrases certainly make this easy
If you ever wondered what it’d be like to date Tam, she basically does girlfriend roleplay videos on Instagram. That’s not the leadup to a punchline by the way, I’m being serious. So there’s your backup option if these fail.
Just be warned if someone walks by with a championship, she will drop you in an instant to go after them
Bring this card out, and it will be “Welcome Aboard” for sure

Have you gone through all of these cards and still haven’t found the perfect way to express your love? It’s ok, because I saved the best for last…

There’ll be no 50/50 booking in my heart

Good luck you romantics! And remember: Whether you find true love or not on February 14, you’ll find chocolate on sale February 15. That’s just as good, right?

Somebody please send me one of these, god I’m so lonely