In the main event of Extreme Rules 2021, the world was treated to a pretty decent match featuring Finn Balor in his Demon persona against the Universal Champion, Roman Reigns.
This match was the only extreme rules match of the night, despite the pay-per-view named Extreme Rules. The Demon is a character Finn Balor uses when regular Finn can’t get the job done, needing something deeper inside him to strike fear in his opponents.
Roman Reigns, however, was in the midst of a huge title run and has been pretty successful in keeping eyes on WWE when all else fails. This was a far cry from being booed as a babyface, showing himself to be a compelling villain, especially in his first feud with Jey Uso. Many have come close to toppling the Head of the Table, but so far all have failed.
The match has some fun moments, such as Roman pulling out his kendo stick only for Balor to size-shame him with a thick and girthy bundle of kendo sticks to dwarf the Tribal Chief’s.
Following interference from the Usos, carnage ensues and eventually everyone is flattened. That’s when something, uh, happened. Suddenly, darkness and crimson bleed through the arena as loud murmurs of a heartbeat ring through. Finn Balor flops like Magikarp from Pokémon doing a “Splash” move. It’s ineffective.
Then the inhale as The Demon rises, possessed with rage and apparently the spirit of ECW’s New Jack, as the match continues on with Finn’s theme music blasting in the background and boy-oh-boy, was he giving the Tribal Chief the business. It looked like success was in the bag. Finally, victory for Irish guys who have never had a carb in their lives!
Suddenly, all these aspirations were for naught, for wouldn’t you know it, the top turnbuckles broke and the ropes fell! The Demon then fell a devastating three or four feet and the supernatural magic was sucked out of the arena like a vacuum. This crushing fall was capitalized on by the Head of the Table as Roman Reigns covered Balor for the pin, and that was all she wrote.
Many watching pondered just what had transpired. Why did this happen? Will anyone benefits from this? Will this be followed up in a following angle?
The answer to all of that? No.
But the mystery still lingers, for many are salivating, frothing to know what cost Finn the match. Well, look no further because Sherlock Corey is here to solve the case.
This would make the most sense, right? The cousins of Roman would definitely do what they could to keep his stock high, and even they could anticipate the Prince jumping from the top turnbuckle. But, would they dare to cost Roman, should he attempt the same sort of jump? Sure, they interfere, they do it for Roman, they do it for the people, but there’s too much risked. The case remains open.
I know, crazy right? But here me out. What if Finn secretly acknowledged the Tribal Chief and screwed himself over on purpose? Sadly, this would take too much effort on his part. All he’d really need to do is simply pull a Jeff Jarret a la Bash at the Beach 2000 and lie there in the middle of the ring. The solution still eludes me.
Bitter about his loss at SummerSlam to the hands of Reigns, the purveyor of Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect would have ample reason to screw someone over so he could get his revenge and topple the giant aura of the former Shield member – and we wouldn’t have known it because we can’t see him. Sadly, Cena wouldn’t be behind this because he’s gone Hollywood and doesn’t have the time for it. Dammit, the solution is close. I can almost taste it.
No reason, I just don’t like him.
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He knew this match could be one of the best if it worked out, but this isn’t the Tokyo Dome, so he cannot allow this to make it past three stars. I think I’ve got it, but we will just have to wait and see as we let it play out.
Listen, I can’t hear your protests and arguments over the tin foil above my head (and thankfully I can’t hear the government or the aliens, but I digress), but what if…what if TK decided to sabotage the competition and decrease the stock of Bullet Club’s former leader so he could one day jump ship to All Elite Wrestling? Hmm. An interesting prospect. But no, I’ve deduced the real culprit and that is…
The Top Turnbuckles
The top turnbuckles just do that sometimes.
Okay, case closed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on social media, smugly expressing my opinions and telling people how to enjoy wrestling.
Wrestle Binn is a satirical series, a creative avenue for our team to have fun writing about the less enjoyable aspects of wrestling.