In Wrestle Inn’s special Crossroads series, the incomparable stars and stories of professional wrestling are mixed skillfully with legendary songs and artists from the musical world. Set to the beats of carefully chosen music, these stories see life through a different lens, with iconic soundtracks allowing a journey they haven’t yet seen. Whether conveying sadness, shock, excitement, happiness, pride, or more, music allows us to view events and feel things in ways not possible without it.

Please, as you read, open your favorite streaming source, play the music we have chosen, and support the artists as they’re meant to be supported. While the vast majority of the lyrics have been rewritten for these fun look-back pieces, the credit always goes to the artists who originally created such literal musical masterpieces. We thank them all for their brilliance – both those on the stage and those in the ring.

The All-American Rejects ~ “Move Along”
Dark Order ~ Hangman Page

A story that may well go down in wrestling history as one of the most emotional ever: the lonely wanderer, Hangman Adam Page, and the group of misfits looking for someone to love, Dark Order. It’s a story many can relate to and is one that compels so many of us to stay glued to the screen when it’s playing out, whether on Dynamite, Dark, or BTE. We just want everyone to be happy, but we’d be happier if they were all together in the end. Set to “Move Along,” performed by The All-American Rejects, we catch up to the captivating story that has stolen all of our hearts.

Go ahead and spend your winnings drinkin’
When you win, everyone wins
Another night, and it’s probly wishful thinkin’
With our dreams held in yours
‘No’ is what we were told
But if we may be so bold

Hear us out
We’ve believed in you all along
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like you now can do
And even when your drink is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn, it’s on Hardy’s crew
Mow the lawn
Mow the lawn

On a night when you’ve nearly lost yourself some money
Could be a moment for your new friends
Such a love that will lead you to receiving
All the cash held in his
Buckshot has him rolled
Your hand is mine to hold

Hear us out
We’ve believed in you all along
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like you now can do
And even when your drink is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn, it’s on Hardy’s crew
Mow the lawn
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When Dark Order is strong, we mow the lawn
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When Dark Order is strong, we mow the lawn
The lawn, the lawn, the lawn, the lawn

We’ve believed in you all along
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like you now can do
And even when your drink is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn, it’s on Hardy’s crew
We’ve believed in you all along
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like you now can do
And even when your drink is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn, it’s on Hardy’s crew
We’ve believed in you all along
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like you now can do (Now can do)
And even when your drink is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn, it’s on Hardy’s crew

We right back what we wronged
We mow the lawn
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
We right back what we wronged
We mow the lawn
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
We right back what we wronged
We mow the lawn
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
We right back what we wronged
We mow the lawn

Bowling for Soup ~ “1985”
Dark Order ~ Alan ‘5’ Angels

Dark Order on Being the Elite is something I would have never expected to need, but now I cannot envision a weekly episode of BTE without them. Numerous skits have brought smiles and laughs on days I’ve desperately needed them and the memories of some of these I couldn’t forget if I even wanted to. One of my favorite recurring bits is the constant playful bullying of Alan ‘5’ Angels, even though he may just be the most useful member after all. Protective of their own, no one can bully 5 but them. Set to the catchy Bowling for Soup hit, “1985,” I explore the many instances in which all that can be lovingly said is, “shut the f*** up 5!”

Woohoo
Woohoo

Johnnie just hit the wall
5’s never had the balls
One stiff drink a day
To keep the wins away
Blonde hair went out the door
When the scissors hit the floor
Only won with one man
What happened to his plan?

He was gonna be a champion
He was gonna be the guy
He was gonna shake his hair
Oh shit, is 10 still high?
That phony Matt Hardy, is now the enemy
Looks at his cultish life
And this is what could go right.

Since Stu, Uno, and Anna
Way before Cabana
There was Alex and Brodie
And Vance of course, Johnnie Hungie
His blonde hair, a vision
They tell him that he’s missin’
‘Cause he’s still a little guy
Damn it, damn it, oh God damn it 5!

Woohoo
(God damn it 5)
Woohoo

He’s messed up to the masses
He’s butchered every line
Tag team name, ‘nickel and dime’
“What’s this 5, are you crying?!”
He fought with Omega!
Not a big rolled-papers fan
Thought he’d gain a hand
Instead of just being a fan.

Where’s the creeper mask made with long hair
And no lawnmower ride, c’mon now that’s not fair
When did BTE become TV
What ever happened to Dynamite, Dark shows
(And all the wrestling)

Stu, Uno, and Anna
Way before Cabana
There was Alex and Brodie
And Vance of course, Johnnie Hungie
His blonde hair, a vision
They tell him that he’s missin’
‘Cause he’s still a little guy
Damn it, damn it, oh God damn it 5!

Woohoo

He hates Johnnie, make him stop
When did Boom Boom Cabana join this cult?
And when did Alex become the hair guy?
Please make this
Stop! Stop! Stop!
And bring back.

Stu, Uno, and Anna
Way before Cabana
There was Alex and Brodie
And Vance of course, Johnnie Hungie
His blonde hair, a vision
They tell him that he’s missin’
‘Cause he’s still a little guy
Oh God damn it 5!

Stu, Uno, and Anna
Way before Cabana
There was Alex and Brodie
And Vance of course, Johnnie Hungie
His blonde hair, a vision
They tell him that he’s missin’
‘Cause he’s still a little guy
Damn it, damn it, oh God damn it 5!

My Chemical Romance ~ “Welcome to the Black Parade”
Dark Order ~ Brodie Lee

The wrestling world was rocked when news of Brodie Lee’s passing broke just after Christmas last year. A universally loved and respected wrestler and human being, the emotions ran high throughout the business and in the community so lovingly surrounding it. Set to the My Chemical Romance hit, “Welcome to the Black Parade,” this last one goes out to Big Rig and the group he helmed so masterfully.

When we were just young kids
Mr. Brodie took us into the Dark Order
And gave us a family.

He said, “Guys, will you show up?
We are not only just spooky perverts
An evil cult or nasty heels.”

He said, “Will you stand by me?
Your enemies, and all the non-believers
The jokes that they will make?”

“Because one day, I’ll leave you though broken
You’ll walk on into the unknown
To hold up A-E-Dub.”

When we were just young kids
Mr. Brodie took us into the Dark Order
And gave us a family.

He said, “Guys, will you show up?
We are not only just spooky perverts
An evil cult or nasty heels.”

Sometimes we get the feelin’
He’s watchin’ over us
And other times we feel like he’s so proud

And through it all, the tears and pain
The bodies in the ring
And though he’s gone, we just want him to know.

We’ll carry on, we’ll carry on
And though you’re not here now, believe us
Your memory will carry on.

We’ll carry on
And in our hearts, we can’t contain it
This short song won’t explain it.

A world that sees us screamin’
From broken-hearted dreams
Our friends and team will hold us all above
So paint it black and purple
Let’s shout it loud and clear
Together to the end, we raise our hands.

We’ll carry on, we’ll carry on
And though you’re not here now, believe us
Your memory will carry on.

We’ll carry on
And though we’re broken, not defeated
Your resolute team marches on.

On and on, we carry through the tears
Oh, oh, oh
Ever respectful faces of your peers
Oh, oh, oh
Take a look at us, ’cause we could not care more.

Do or die, they’ll never make us
Because the world will never take our hearts
Though they may try, they’ll never break us
We want it all, we wanna rise above.

We won’t explain or say we’re sorry
We’re standing strong, we’re gonna show our will
Give a cheer for the Dark Order
Listen here, because it’s who we are.

We’re just a group, we’re not the heroes
Just a group, who had to walk his walk
We’re just a group, we’re not the heroes
We still care.

We’ll carry on, we’ll carry on
And though you’re not here now, believe us
Your memory will carry on.

We’ll carry on
And though we’re broken, not defeated
Your resolute team marches on, oh.

Do or die, they’ll never make us
Because the world will never take our hearts
Though they may try, they’ll never break us.

We want it all, we wanna make him proud (we’ll carry on!)
Do or die, they’ll never make us
Because the world will never take our hearts.

Go and try, you’ll never break us
We want it all, we wanna make him proud (we’ll carry on!).