Well fret not! Because I am back once more to be your pro-wrestling Cupid. If my Stardom Valentine’s cards didn’t find you a wife or a husband, then maybe you were just looking for love in the wrong promotion. So this year, I’m turning to the biggest promotion in Japan: New Japan Pro Wrestling. Success is sure to be yours, because I’ve not met a man or woman who would say no to Hiroshi Tanahashi. Stupid Sexy Ace.

I’ve compiled the most romantic, sure fire one liners. All you need to do is put your name and the name of your beloved (if you know it) on the card. Pick their favourite wrestler to show how much attention you pay to them and surely their heart will belong to you like the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship belongs to Kazuchika Okada!

Let’s start big, with some of the most recognisable faces in the company

Perhaps your crush is a Los Ingobernables De Japon fan. It’s statistically likely considering how damn popular they are. Well I have you covered!

Of course some people are drawn to the bad boys (what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?). Well, Bullet Club and the House of Torture are just what you need!

Then there’s CHAOS. Though using these cards shouldn’t provide any chaos in your love life, it should in fact be smooth sailing.

Bullet Club might be the ‘foreigner’ faction but we’ve seen the rise of two new ones of late: the United Empire and TMDK. Can’t let the local boys have all the fun!

Let’s play roulette! Mystery wrestlers and mystery factions!

That’s a lot of cards to pick from. Some of them are pretty decent too! One of them must hold the key to you finding love. However, it’s always good to have one last ace up your sleeve in case you’re struggling. You’ve got to listen to a referee right?

There you go my puroresu lovebirds! Time to stop being a singles star and form that tag team. If you want to go for the NEVER Openweight Six Man Titles, who am I to judge? Happy Valentine’s Day!

Why must I be cursed to lead people to love that I can never attain? I’d settle for a Valentine’s card with a WWE wrestler on it…

Except it isn’t the main event of Wrestle Kingdom. Not the one that Naito wanted.

Throughout the past year, the leader of Los Ingobernables de Japon made it abundantly clear that his goal was to headline the first night of Wrestle Kingdom 17 on January 4, held inside the legendary Tokyo Dome. This date is widely regarded as the biggest in the Japanese wrestling calendar, becoming something of an obsession for Naito as 2022 went on.

His first step towards the Dome was to challenge Kazuchika Okada for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship back in February, but Naito would fail to recapture the belt from the man he’d dethroned back in 2020. He then roll-upped his way into the final of the New Japan Cup, where he was bested by perennial rival Zack Sabre Jr. After failing once again to defeat Okada and stumbling into a potentially disastrous 0-2 start to the G1 Climax, Naito rode a winning streak to the semi-finals, only to fall victim to the ascent of Will Ospreay on his own path to the final.

His aspirations now in critical condition, Naito clawed his way into a US title shot at Battle Autumn, where he came out all guns blazing in a last-ditch effort to reach January 4th with a singles title and a chance at headlining the Tokyo Dome.

And he lost. Again.

From a certain point of view, Naito’s year was one of failure. He lost every title he contested for and failed in every tournament he partook in, and instead of finding himself in the Tokyo Dome main event on January 4 he found himself on the losing end of a six-man tag in the undercard (in full T-shirt mode, no less). Off the back of an already lacklustre 2021, and with the commentary team always keen to remind you of his advanced years, one could be forgiven for thinking that Naito’s dreams of once again main eventing the Dome are nothing more than delusions, the empty words of a man fighting against his inevitable twilight into New Japan’s gallery of mid-card dads.

To view his future in such a cynical light, however, is to misunderstand what makes Naito such a compelling character. This is a man whose journey is defined by his failures more than his successes. The scars of his past are what motivates his future.

The root of Naito’s drive for the Tokyo Dome main event stems from one night in Osaka, at Power Struggle in late-2013. The young Stardust Genius had just won that year’s G1 Climax and was set to face then-champion Kazuchika Okada in what was to be Naito’s first shot at headlining Wrestle Kingdom and the Tokyo Dome. After Okada had defended his championship against Karl Anderson in the main event, Naito walked out to the ring and confronted the Rainmaker, boldly declaring himself the “shuyaku” (the top star) of New Japan Pro Wrestling.

The response? Silence. Bemusement. The Osaka crowd could not have cared less about Tetsuya Naito that night.

In truth the man that fans really wanted to see in the main event on January 4 was Hiroshi Tanahashi, the man that Naito had been groomed to succeed as the Ace. This became abundantly clear when NJPW ran a fan vote gauging which match the fans wanted to see headline Wrestle Kingdom; Tanahashi’s IWGP Intercontinental Championship bout against Shinsuke Nakamura the clear winner.

With that vote, Tetsuya Naito saw his first ever Tokyo Dome main event fade into stardust. His bout against Okada was relegated to the semi-main, and though the match was positively received it was clear that irreparable damage had been done to Naito’s fledgling run at the top. The “shuyaku” had been overshadowed by the Ace.

To any other wrestler, this turn of events might’ve been career-killing. To Tetsuya Naito, it was career-defining.

Every single element of Naito’s story can be traced back to that night. Every single move he has made has been towards healing that wound, whether it be reinventing himself into the brash, disaffected El Ingobernable audiences know and love today, or whether it be his long and complex relationship with the IWGP Intercontinental Championship. Naito is a figure who is driven by a need to atone for his past, it’s this need for atonement that makes his relationship with the Tokyo Dome so compelling.

It would take four more years for Naito to finally headline the Dome, when he walked into Wrestle Kingdom 12 to face off against Kazuchika Okada once again. This Naito was a radically changed man from the one who fought the Rainmaker back in 2014; he was at the absolute peak of his popularity, you’d be hard-pressed to find a single soul in Tokyo that night who was rooting against him. At last, it seemed, Naito’s destiny had led him to the promised land.

Destiny, however, would have to wait. A failed Stardust Press, an ode to his past-self, would ultimately cost Naito the match. He found himself in the same position he was in four years ago: facing the lights, leaving the Tokyo Dome empty-handed.

Over the next few years Naito would work towards putting some more old wounds to bed. His resentment towards the IWGP Intercontinental Championship became acceptance, poetically using the belt as a weapon en-route to defeating Chris Jericho for the title at Wrestle Kingdom 13. His character also seemed to mature, his tranquil self-acceptance a far cry from the insecure, doubtful figure that he had been in years prior.

Going into the main event of Wrestle Kingdom 14 Tetsuya Naito had never been a more self-assured character. He would face off against the Rainmaker once again in the “double-gold dash”, with Naito pitting his IWGP Intercontinental Championship against Okada’s IWGP Heavyweight Championship. This was the culmination of Naito’s journey; this was the place where Naito’s heart would either heal or shatter irrevocably.

As the closing bell reverberated through the Tokyo Dome that night it seemed like everything was perfect. Naito had finally overcome his greatest rival on the grandest stage, in the biggest spot, and now stood before the Tokyo Dome as the dual IWGP Heavyweight and Intercontinental Champion. His past had been redeemed, his destiny fulfilled. For a brief, triumphant moment Tetsuya Naito’s heart was whole.

Until it was shattered, once again, by a blindside attack from KENTA. The lasting visual from that show was not to be the newly-crowned Naito triumphantly holding up the two belts. The image that was forever scarred into the minds of both Naito and his fans was that of KENTA mockingly sat atop the fallen body of the champion.

What should’ve been the defining moment of Naito’s career turned into yet another wound for the champion to heal, and throughout the next year his run at the top was plagued by issues far beyond the world of wrestling.

At Wrestle Kingdom 15, to this day Naito’s most recent main event at Tokyo Dome, it seemed as though his destiny had finally arrived yet again. Tetsuya Naito was the defending champion at the absolute peak of his powers, arriving into his third Tokyo Dome main event as the undisputed top star of New Japan Pro Wrestling. Finally he could call himself the “shuyaku” and walk out to a crowd that not only believed him, but embraced him.

Except the crowd that night, just like the crowd in Osaka that had haunted Naito for so many years, was silent. A once in a generation pandemic had rendered the Tokyo Dome audience mute; Naito’s grand moment had been undercut by fate once again. He left the Tokyo Dome just as he had the first time he headlined the venue: title-less and unfulfilled.

Naito’s obsession with the Tokyo Dome main event is not just a dying star’s desperate attempt at relevancy. It stems from a burning desire to patch a hole in his heart, to weave the missing thread in the imperfect tapestry of a legendary career. Naito has long since put to bed his demons surrounding Osaka, the fans and the IWGP Intercontinental Championship, but his destiny won’t truly be fulfilled until he stands before a packed Tokyo Dome and hears 40,000 fans bellow “DE JA-PON!” alongside their shuyaku.

Until then, Tetsuya Naito will do what he always does. He’ll carry the weight. He’ll walk into a future that promises him nothing, but he’ll promise us. When he says he’ll main event the Tokyo Dome next year we’ll follow him every step of the way. Not because we believe him, but because we believe in him.

That’s the magic of the Stardust Genius.

So the Wrestle Inn team came together to share with you their personal favourite horror themed wrestlers. This is by no means an exhaustive list – there is only six of us so if you’re wondering where The Boogeyman is, then consider him an honourable mention. Otherwise he’ll be coming to get’cha!

These are the wrestlers and the gimmicks that stuck with us when we think ‘spooky’. So read on below, and see if our list is full of tricks or treats…

Gangrel

Selected by Thumbly Squeezed

An obvious choice, maybe, but every single piece of Gangrel’s package was tuned perfectly to put a chill down your spine when he appeared. Kids could think he was an actual monster, while adults still found themselves backing away slowly. A legit frightening look (fangs and all), a badass entrance that’s still being recycled today, and “blood” galore to go into his mouth and all over his enemies. Even his finisher, a spike DDT, came across vicious and on-point (he’s going for the neck, get it?!). 

Gangrel established who he was and how he should be feared without needing to say word. In fact, his mystique vanished a bit when he did start talking for himself. Before then, though, he was a landmark part of the Attitude Era and his vampiric gimmick helped launch two Hall Of Fame legends in Edge and Christian Cage towards superstardom.

Match to watch: vs X-Pac @ Royal Rumble 1999 (January 1999); a fast-paced good match that, despite a botched count by the referee, still features both talents well.

Mick Foley

Selected by Corey Michaels

Why didn’t I just pick Cactus Jack? Mankind would fit more aptly, too, of course. Well, my reason for this is simple. What’s more terrifying than someone who is many? Someone haunted with multiple personalities? No, not someone who suffers from a disorder, but rather a plague of beings. Be it the sadistic Cactus Jack, the masochistic Mankind, or the laid-back, comedic Dude Love, Mick Foley was host to an unpredictable trio. 

And on his own, as his normal self, he can be just as viscerally formidable. Foley had this ability to make audiences feel whatever he needed to, and when he can blend reality and fiction to go with it, nobody was mentally safe. You’re about as safe as any opponent he would suffocate and choke out with his Mandible Claw, as he squeals, grinning with broken teeth and scars abound.

Match to watch: vs Triple H @ RAW (September 1997); the fear of Cactus Jack was well known to audiences who had clamored for the wild man, and his own personalities were fearful of him too.

Maho Kurone

Selected by Trent Breward

Amidst the many bright and cheerful characters found on the TJPW roster stood a dark, flesh hungry counterpart. Although Maho Kurone’s career was a short one, wrestling for just over two years before retiring due to mental health issues, she made a lasting impression on fans.

Few embodied a gimmick quite like she did. TJPW’s resident zombie would stumble out to the ring, a severed hand hanging out of her bloodied mouth, and go about scaring both the wrestlers and the audience with manic glee. Maho took the assignment and ran with it. While she was naturally quite gimmick heavy, her in-ring work was coming along nicely while still maintaining the essence of a zombie thrust into a wrestling ring. One can only wonder what she would have managed if her career could have continued. 

Match to watch: vs Miyu Yamashita @ TJPW Let’s Go! Go! If You Go! When You Go! If You Get Lost You Just Go To Yokohama (10/03/2018); a key example of Maho combining gimmick and in ring workrate to put forth arguably the best match of her short career.

Kishin Liger

Selected by CiaranRH

The demonic side of Jyushin Thunder Liger; such a sadistic form that in Liger’s 35+ year career it only showed its twisted face on four occasions! The only time the majority of fans were able to experience the Kishin Liger phenomenon would have been in 2019, amidst a rivalry with Minoru Suzuki.

Furious with Suzuki consistently being a dickhead, Liger elected to unmask himself and reveal his ghostly painted face and torso, much to the shocked horror of the crowd. Spitting mist in the face of not only Suzuki but the referee as well, Kishin Liger tried his utmost to impale Suzuki with a spike. Literally. In a death-defying moment, Suzuki dodged at the last second and the dangerously large spike exploded through a table, the same spot Suzuki’s head was a second earlier. 

Match to watch: Suzuki-gun vs Hiroshi Tanahashi, Jyushin Thunder Liger, Rocky Romero & Tiger Mask @ Destruction In Kobe (NJPW, 22nd September 2019); The match ends as soon as it begins, but the aftermath sees the aforementioned awakening of the fierce god, Kishin Liger.

La Parka/L.A. Park

Selected by Steve Howard

During the influx of cruiserweights into WCW in the mid 1990’s, one stood out as something different. The ‘Chairman of WCW’ had a unique look due to his skeleton outfit, a nod to Mexico’s Day of the Dead ceremonies. Bigger than most cruiserweights, La Parka still had a high flying in ring style. The chairman moniker was more than apt, often use a chair to injure his opponents.

After a dispute with AAA over the ownership of the name, the original La Parka rebranded himself as L.A. Park, but he maintained the ‘spooky’ skeleton outfit. Having wrestled for 40 years, 2022 has seen him compete in a number of promotions including The Crash, AAA and Major League Wrestling. During an incredible career, he has both excited and scared audiences around the world.

Match to watch: Juventud Guerrera & Rey Mysterio Jr vs La Parka & Psychosis (WCW Monday Nitro, 15th December 1997); one of many exciting cruiserweight must see tag matches from that period.

The Undertaker

Selected by Adam Ryan

What list of spooky wrestlers isn’t complete without The Undertaker? He’s the original spooky gimmick in wrestling. Debuting at the 1990 Survivor Series, he immediately struck fear into anyone he was in the ring with. A year later, he was the WWF Champion and was the first man to pin Hulk Hogan in what seemed like forever. Throughout his long and illustrious career he won multiple world titles and was the originator of such ghoulish and barbaric matches as the casket match, the boiler room brawl, the buried alive match and hell in a cell.

Whenever that first bell of his entrance music tolled and the lights went out, you just felt a chill. Be it in the arena live or even on TV, it was something special when The Undertaker would appear. Undertaker has always been a personal favorite of mine and when I started watching wrestling, he was one of the first wrestlers I remember seeing on RAW. At that time, he had the ghostly and morbid Paul Bearer at his side and I was drawn to them, they were completely different from anything else on the show.

Match to watch: vs Mankind, Hell in a Cell Match (WWF King of the Ring, June 28, 1998); This match is still talked about today as one of the most violent and barbaric matches in WWF/WWE history.

Inside the ring, the menacing member of United Empire earned his first taste of gold upon winning the IWGP Tag Team Championships, twice, alongside Jeff Cobb. He was also an essential element of the build to Forbidden Door, appearing on AEW television ahead of competing in a landmark match on the PPV itself. A graduate of NJPW’s Young Lion system, Great-O-Khan is not even two years into his post-excursion career and has already become integral to New Japan’s marketing and promotions, his persona transcending the squared circle he dominates so fiercely.

Outside the ring, Great-O-Khan earned worldwide praise from fans for his heroics in saving a young girl from a drunken predator, subduing the man and ensuring the girl felt safe with offers of pancakes, in turn being awarded a letter of appreciation by Kawasaki City police. A hero in every sense of the word, we saw another side of Great-O-Khan when he ventured to America, gallivanting across the Las Vegas Strip seemingly having the time of his life thus cementing his spot in the hearts and minds of all fans.

With translation help from NJPW, I was able to ask Great-O-Khan a series of questions, ranging from his career in New Japan so far to his appearances in AEW, from his time spent on excursion in England to his thoughts on MJF, and of course what toppings he has on his pancakes.

Q: What are your thoughts on your performance in the G1 Climax this year and Will Ospreay losing in the final?
The results were disappointing but our matches were highly regarded, and we felt that the fans were clamoring for both us and Ospreay to win. That is an achievement in itself.

Q: You are a two-time IWGP Tag Team Champion, alongside Jeff Cobb. Do you have your sights set on any singles title in the near future?
We do not seek championships, championships come to us. Should the champions beg us to challenge for these things, then so be it.

Q: You’ve recently incorporated the “Slam Dunk” and “Pancake Hold” into your move set. You seem to be able to find inspiration from anywhere, your amateur wrestling background, anime, and now basketball and food. Are you always looking for new, original moves to add to your arsenal in your every day life?
We don’t search, we feel. When we find something useful, we incorporate it, not just in our wrestling, but backstage and on social media.

Q: Does it frustrate you that you defeated Hiroyoshi Tenzan yet he continues to use the Mongolian Chops?
No. We are benevolent types. The “legendary wrestler” mimicking our moves is something we find highly amusing, if anything.

Q: With the announcement of the Historic X-Over event between NJPW and STARDOM, which STARDOM wrestlers would you most like to team up with at the show?
We care not.

Q: Which STARDOM wrestlers would you like to see join the United Empire?
We do not seek members. It is up to the wrestlers to plead their cases to us.

Q: NJPW have announced their return to the UK with Royal Quest II. Can we expect Great-O-Khan to make his long-awaited return to the UK? (Interview took place before Great-O-Khan was officially announced for Royal Quest II)
You may. Be prepared by watching NJPW World immediately.

Q: You spent almost two years on excursion in the UK with RevPro, as part of the Legion and teaming with Rampage Brown, do you have any fond memories of your time in the UK?
At first, we couldn’t communicate effectively with broken English. But when wrestlers in Portsmouth tried to learn Japanese and tried to understand our English we were grateful.
We have an amusing anecdote. One day, we were asked to give lessons on amateur wrestling to students in the Portsmouth dojo. There were over 20 people coming to our session on the first day. But because the lesson was so grueling only two people came on the second day. Many wrestlers invited us to dinner, took us sight-seeing and taught us the proper English manners. Lord Gideon Grey especially has our gratitude. We were glad to see historical architecture like the Tower of London and Glastonbury Abbey where our beloved King Arthur’s grave is. We only have good memories of England.

Q: You are wildly popular with fans in both Japan and worldwide. What do you attribute that to?
No words are needed in wrestling. A dedicated attitude is appreciated all over the world. Debuting in England taught us that.

Q: You were an important part of the build to Forbidden Door, what are your thoughts and feelings on your time spent in AEW and performing at Forbidden Door?
We felt that AEW is full of Indy wrestlers. There are plenty of formidable wrestlers there, but they are unrefined and ill-educated. A shame.

Q: Is there anybody in AEW that you think should be punished with an Eliminator?
MJF. Not because of hatred but interest.

Q: MJF has previously revealed that he is a fan of you. What are your thoughts on MJF?
We care not for pro-wrestling, so we haven’t seen or heard of MJF. Yet clearly he is one of a precious few who truly understand the meaning of true “professional wrestling”, and we think he must be one of the very best in the world.

Q: During your time in America it seems you really enjoyed yourself in Las Vegas. What was your favourite part of that experience?
Definitely Las Vegas. We posted some photos of Las Vegas on our Instagram for you to see. American people are crazy and funny – we would like to oblige our crazy side as well.

Q: What are your favourite anime or manga?
To name a few famous manga, love Slam Dunk, Rurouni Kenshin, Dragon Ball, YuYu Hakusho and Fist of the North Star. Of course, we own complete sets of all.

Q: What toppings do you put on your pancakes?
Simple is the best. Syrup and Whipped cream. That’s it.

That week was one of the most challenging in my life. On the Wednesday, my partner and I were set to pick up the keys to our first home together…only to receive a call that my Grandad had been hospitalized. On the Saturday, we spent our first night in our new home…only to be woken up by that unavoidable and dreaded call. Maybe my Grandad was just fucking with me with his timing, I like to think so.

As fellow NJPW fans will remember, around the aforementioned time G1 Climax 29 was nearing its end, and of course I was still watching the shows. A few hours after my Grandad passed away the final night of B Block took place, Jay White defeated Tetsuya Naito in the main event and the final was set for the following day: Kota Ibushi vs Jay White.

Alone for the first time since my Grandad was hospitalized and then passed away. Alone in the first apartment I had ever purchased, that I had only spent two nights in. A misaligned set up of garden chairs whilst we waited for our sofa to be delivered and the TV barely fitting on a temporary table, alone I found myself watching the final night of G1 Climax 29.

I don’t remember the match between White and Ibushi, so sublime it earned a 5.5 star rating from Uncle Meltzer. I don’t remember Minoru Suzuki picking up a shock win to pin the then IWGP Heavyweight Champion Kazuchika Okada in a tag match, earning himself a title shot in the process.

I remember KENTA turning his back on his tag team partners Tomohiro Ishii and YOSHI-HASHI mid-match. I remember KENTA aligning with Bullet Club. I remember Katsuyori Shibata marching to the ring, performing wrestling moves for the first time since he almost died in the ring more than 2 years prior. Deciding that words were not needed, Shibata simply laid his former friend KENTA out with one clean forearm and his signature corner dropkick. Shibata was in a wrestling ring. Shibata was performing wrestling moves. I was losing my fucking mind.

Alone, I found myself jumping around my new living room, tears of joy at Shibata’s actions quickly replaced by seething rage at Bullet Club having the gall to attack Shibata, the pure disrespect from KENTA to pose atop Shibata’s broken body. I called my partner crying, I had to share the experience, the moment. Shibata tried his best to kick the life out of KENTA, but unbeknownst he was simultaneously kicking the sadness out of me.

Despite getting teary eyed embarrassingly easy when watching films, I seldom cry. Yet, when Shibata had the unannounced 5-minute grappling match with Zack Sabre Jr. at G1 Climax 31 I cried the entire time. This man, a man who decided his nickname is The Wrestler and none of us questioned it, the personification of toughness, seemingly holds the key to turn me into a weeping mess.

I have always gravitated towards Katsuyori Shibata since the first time I saw him wrestle, but not for the reasons we tend to gravitate towards our favourites. Often we see ourselves in our favourites, fighting their inner demons and striving to get better. In Shibata, I don’t remotely see myself. Shibata is stoic, a badass no-nonsense killer. I am a skinny, speckled geek with Spider-Man and Pokémon tattoos who avoids conflict at any cost. You’ll never catch me trying to correct somebody who says wrestling is fake, conflict successfully avoided. But, unquestionably, Shibata is my all-time favourite wrestler.

My Grandad was my favourite person. I was such a little shit as a child that if we visited my grandparents and I noticed my Grandad’s car was not in the driveway, I would refuse to go in their house. Perhaps I was sitting cross-legged on the floor with my arms crossed in defiance. Every year when the passing of my Grandad arrives, it gets easier to remember the good times rather than focus on the bad, and I think that transition has been made easier for me because of Shibata. Because every year that anniversary rolls around, it means it’s almost the anniversary of KENTA joining Bullet Club, it means it’s almost the moment Shibata accomplished the impossible, it means it’s almost the time my favourite wrestler helped me recover from heartbreak. Katsuyori Shibata will never know the positive impact he has made on my life.

“I’m alive. That’s all!”

A year ago eight members of Wrestle Inn held a draft, pretending they were new wrestling promotors with all the wrestlers in the world in free agency. Like any good sequel, this year is bigger and better! Now eleven different writers and editors for Wrestle Inn have come together to determine who can build the best possible promotion.

The premise was simple. Come to the draft with a brand and a vision. A random number generator would determine the order, with said order flipped between the men’s and women’s draft. Wrestlers were drafted as they are in March of 2022, and you could craft unique tag teams on the premise that they only work as a team. In a situation that totally didn’t feel rigged, Ciaran drew the number one pick and would kick things off.

What came from it was plenty of shouting and arguing as hotly desired wrestlers got taken and plans were ruined. With more owners, it was harder than ever to get the guy or girl you wanted. – a reality that some of the owners found out the hard way. We even had our first ever trade in the history of this series!

So what were the end results? Below you will find each promotion and their roster, as well as their owner telling us a bit about why they build the roster they did and why it’s the best of the bunch. Be sure to cast your vote at the end of the article to add your voice to the mix!

Olympus Pro Wrestling
Owner: CiaranRH

Olympus Pro-Wrestling, where the God’s come to wrestle. The miraculous return of Katsuyori Shibata made my first pick a no-brainer, only a God could defy the odds as he has done, and he’ll be leading the charge for my men’s division. Put any of my 12 wrestlers against each other and you know what you get? Dream match. Ilja vs PAC? Dream match. Takeshita vs Nakamura? Dream match. Naito vs Devitt (yes, Devitt, be gone Balor)? Dream match. We’re in the business of making dreams come true! Well, for us fans, the wrestlers are going to be damn sore.

However, you can call me Tony Khan, because when it comes to my women’s division I might be in over my head. I was fortunate to land one of STARDOM’s Threedom in the incomparable KAIRI, and I swiftly moved in for the kill by bringing Ice Ribbon’s Tsukasa Fujimoto into the ranks as well. But who says my division’s cant’ go to war for the glory of the Gods? Meiko Satomura vs EVERYBODY.

Super Spooky Wrestling
Owner: Adam

For my company, Super Spooky Wrestling, I tried to put together a roster of the spookiest, creepiest and meanest wrestlers and tag teams around. In my head I see my promotion as a place where horror movies come to life with a little bit of Chikara from 2010-11 thrown in. I researched who I could add and put together a draft board for the men’s and women’s division with several backup picks as well just in case anyone I wanted got stolen. The men’s draft went a lot better for me than the women’s draft. I was able to get most of the picks I wanted and I also think I put together a pretty good tag team division (seriously, who wouldn’t want to see Briscoes against Los Psycho Circus?). The women’s draft was a bit tougher as most of the wrestlers I had on my draft board got chosen by others. I was luckily able to grab my top two picks, which were Rosemary and Toni Storm. After that, the wheels kind of fell off but I still think I’ve got a decent women’s roster, including a bad-ass tag team in Oedo Tai. Overall though, I’m satisfied with my roster and I think it’s got a cool and unique feel to it!

Midnight City Wrestling
Owner: Trent Breward

When the sun sets, the stars come out. Midnight City Wrestling is all about bringing together the best of the best in different disciplines and finding out what makes the strongest pro wrestler. Whether you’re a technical wizard, a Genius of the Sky or you just want Everyone to Die, the after hours fight pit of MCW is your new home.

Bryan Danielson and Shingo Takagi were in my top 3 in terms of most wanted, so to land both was a huge score, and having two strong figureheads allowed me to bring in a mix of different styles. There’s a lot of rare or never before seen matches waiting in MCW with a host of storytelling possibilities. There’s a definite preference for hard hitters, but I wanted to bring in guys like Vikingo and Brookes to add some extra flavour.

For the women my vision was far clearer. I wanted a couple of headline attractions that can draw the initial attention, and then an incredibly talented batch in the mid-draft that will keep you enthralled. I ended up leaning into a bit of a hardcore/deathmatch angle, either through specialists like Risa Sera or those who are just willing to throw themselves into a war. As much as trading AZM hurt, bringing Suzu Suzuki into this kind of promotion just made way too much sense. I keep the promise of a young prodigy, but now they’re more in line with MCW’s style. And of course Io Shirai is front and centre to remind everyone why she’s a generational level talent.

Dinosaur Fence Pro Wrestling
Owner: Scott Edwards

Dinosaur Fence went into this draft with about the same amount of thought that it took to come up with the name of promotion — minimal. The entire goal for myself drafting was to pick as many wrestlers as I liked without wanting to cry when others took who I wanted. Easier said than done.

The men’s side of things were a complete win really. With the fourth overall selection, I picked Kazuchika Okada, a man who very well might go down in history as the greatest of all time. Oh, and speaking of greatest of all time, the steal of the men’s draft came in the fifth round when I got Hiroshi Tanahashi, the greatest male pro wrestler to ever live. Heck of a start for Dinosaur Fence who can also sprinkle in the greatness of wrestlers like current GHC Heavyweight Champion Go Shiozaki, AEW World Champion Hangman Page, and Triple Crown Champion Kento Miyahara. Lots of gold to go around here.

The women’s draft is where it got messy. Not because I didn’t have a plan — this was the only time I did have a plan. But because I got my heart ripped out when Mayu Iwatani was taken one pick before me, it nearly broke my spirit as my favorite wrestler of all time was gone. But no fear, we bounce back. Back-to-back picks of Syuri and Saya Kamitani is about as good as you can get. Looking for consistency and aces for the women’s division, these two give me exactly that as I will guarantee must-see matches every single show the fans of Dinosaur Fence get to see. The additions of both VENY and Mio Momono in the fourth and fifth rounds are really where my Joshi roots kicked into gear. VENY is one of the best going and Mio Momono was the best wrestler in the world at one time in 2021. When she’s ready, I expect her to do the same again. The rest of my women’s division is awesome but it was my one-sided trade with Trent’s MCW that won us the draft (if I do say so myself). My mistake turned into my win as a trade to acquire AZM and MIRAI for Suzu Suzuki and Unagi Sayaka was the ultimate win. I will miss having such a prodigy on my team but I may have replaced her with an even better one.
Oh and MIRAI does the clap thing so I win.

Singularity Pro Wrestling
Owner: Thumbly

How It Started:
Going into the draft, I had a bit of a secret. Sure, after a few picks into the women’s side people were saying “Oh, you’re going to have some serious inter gender action.” But those poor fools had no idea they were not going far enough. I laid down the gauntlet to myself before hand: it’s 2022, men’s and women’s wrestling have never resembled each other more, and more than one woman has been the face of multiple different sports including MMA. It’s time to tear up the old rules and throw away the pearls you used to clutch.

What do I mean? I mean here in Singularity PW we’re going to be the first fully integrated feature fed. No men’s/women’s divisions, these are all trained athletes and gifted performers who can hold their own on a level playing field. The same singular footing. We’ve got weight classes, to ensure we keep it as level as possible while increasing the modern combat sport feel:
1) 225 and under is the lighter class
2) Anything above is the heavier class (and yes, many of our stronger female competitors will fit here).

As time goes on and the fed grows, we can add more diverse classes of belts UFC-style The tag team division is the only openweight, come-as-you-are party zone. This means mixed tag teams, which I had to come up with creatively since I couldn’t draft them together. I had to have a backup plan for every male I took in case the intended female partner didn’t fall to me wholly separately later on. That I did, and otherwise I set out to keep the weight classes realistic enough to convey the genuine equality and even competition that these athletes deserve. It’s time for a change, and new matchups with never-before-seen possibilities. You can only get it here, so again the name is fitting.

How It’s Going:
Due to the nature of my particular beast, I had to keep a keen focus on balance – enough athletes in each of my weight classes, enough representation of each gender in them (tougher at the heavyweight level), and making room for tag teams as well. This sometimes meant I had to prioritize certain traits (teams, size, etc) over who was simply the best person available. So others got to jump on value that I couldn’t.

That said, I protected myself early with star power. Singularity quickly snagged Adam Cole/Chris Bey/Big E for the men’s roster, Bianca Belair/Kamille/Mayu Iwatani (an oft-betrayed but very beloved hero I christened “the Sting of Japan”) for the women’s side. This allowed me a solid baseline to play from, stacking amazing talents like Serena Deeb & Deonna Purazzo into a tag team to stretch male, female, and mixed teams alike. I could also pounce on names like Jungle Boy, Damien Priest, and Kris Statlander when they fell later on. But the biggest switch I made from our last draft to this one was the focus on great tag teams, both established and Singularity-original varieties. The Lucha Bros, Hardy Boyz, and Fire n’ Flava will contend with all-new mixed teams like Statlander/Matt Cardona, Priest/Ruby Soho, and Cole/Heather Monroe. You literally CANNOT see this anywhere else on the (real or imagined) Earth!

The weight limits also ended up creating awesome stories, like Josh Alexander using his pure grit and wrestling acumen to tackle giants like Miro and Jacob Fatu. So top to bottom we’ve got talent, style, and brand new lineups to bottom to boot! The ONE place you will find them all is Singularity Pro Wrestling.

Valhalla Wrestling
Owner: Molly

For Valhalla, I wanted to portray something truly special. It’s such a special place in legend – a destination that is yearned for and earned in battle. I wanted Valhalla to represent just that. With both men and women who represented the most incredible workers in the industry, it was my wish to stand out by pushing some of the best dream matches in today’s industry, wrestled by those who most consistently author “wow” moments inside the squared circle.

Coming into the men’s draft, I had a short list of four names that I would have been happy to build my promotion around. Honestly, I only expected I’d be able to lock down just one of them, but I was able to get THREE! After that, I stayed true to my vision until the later rounds where I was able to steal some personality to add to the foundational violence I prioritized in the early rounds. For the women, I was a little more flexible as some big names fell to me early. I was able to round out Valhalla’s “Valkyries” division with some names I knew I needed to have – those who pushed violence and carried with them the same strong work-rate as the men’s side.

Overall, I walked away extremely happy with how things went. Sure, I wish some names had fallen to me that didn’t, but that’s how these things always work. I love being challenged to pivot when necessary and think outside the box. At the end of the day, it’s a promotion I’d gladly watch any day, and that’s all I could ask for. So what say you? Care to pull up a chair in the hallowed halls of Valhalla? Sure, there will be blood, but there will be endless smiles to be had as well – that’s a promise.

Super Mountain Wrestling
Owner: Steve H

Theme song: Bring me to Life – Evanescence

The reformed SMW (with apologies to Jim Cornette and Smoky Mountain Wrestling) offers great in ring action with an old school feel and lots of fun. A roster mixed with experienced in ring performers and emerging young talent will leave the audience wanting more each week. The arena’s will be filled with the SMW (Dub), SMW, SMW chants. Get a front row ticket or contact your cable provider to watch Super Mountain Wrestling. Call our 1-800 number to order your Sami Zayn wig, your Dr Britt Baker DMD toothpaste, your Johnny and Candice duvet cover or your CM Punk ice cream bar.

The men’s draft started badly as by the time of my first pick I had already lost my number one choice Bryan Danielson as well as my sleeper choice for the later rounds Danhausen. After selecting Punk, I was on a roll with Gargano, Owens, Zayn and Ospreay. The women’s draft had similar difficulties at the start as I knew I had to pick a Joshi wrestler in round one or else the big names would be gone. I decided to go for Utami and luckily still got Sasha in round two.
Both men’s and women’s rosters really came into place in the later rounds. Best wrestlers in the world – tick. Best on the mic – tick. Best storytellers – tick. Best crossover TV stars – tick. All of the rosters selected are amazing but Super Mountain Wrestling really is the most stupendous roster of all time!

Pro Wrestling NEO
Owner: Jamie Johnson

My promotion is all about building new (NEO), brighter stars. My draft strategy contained three parts: first, drafting wrestlers who are young and on their way up (such as HOOK, Lee Moriarty and Starlight Kid). Second, drafting under-utilised wrestlers (for example, Yuji Hino, Hiromu Takahashi and Mercedes Martinez). Thirdly, signing a couple of supplementary older wrestlers who have the advantages of experience to spread to their younger contemporaries (which is the King, Minoru Suzuki and Queen, Emi Sakura). This diverse drafting has allowed me to build a roster that is well-rounded, with youth and experience coming together to form a promotion both for now and the future.

Merciless Pro
Owner: Ryan Dilbert

Savagery. Brutality. Simple, haunting, beautiful violence. I strived to build Merciless Pro with those very bricks.
My goal with both the men’s and women’s draft was to nab as many hard-hitters and ass-kickers as possible. I wanted a roster full of brawlers who are nasty and unrelenting, experts at the slugfest style.

I was mostly able to draft the top picks on my men’s big board including the monstrous Brock Lesnar, NOAH’s kicking machine Katsuhiko Nakajima, and Mr. Death Rider himself Jon Moxley. Then in later rounds, I plucked some late-round steals from BJW.

On the women’s side, I leaned heavy on the joshi scene, getting a number of women considered the ace of their respective promotion: Miyu Yamashita from TJPW, Takumi Iroha from Marvelous, and Nagisa Nozaki from Pro Wrestling Wave. Most of the women I drafted are tall and muscular, although size wasn’t my main focus. I wanted bad attitudes and black hearts. I got that in spades.

If you enjoy Pro Wrestling NOAH when it’s not focused on older, past-their-prime guys, if you dig the grittiness of Big Japan Pro-Wrestling, if you like your wrestling raw and uncomfortably violent, Merciless Pro is for you. Brock Lesnar vs. Keith Lee. Miyu Yamashita vs. Takumi Iroha. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Jon Moxley. Mia Yim vs. DASH Chisako. All the slobberknockers you can handle, bro.

Dragon Wrestling Dungeon
Owner: Katie Rose

What can I say? My roster is once again pretty WWE heavy, with talent from other promotions sprinkled in here and there. We have a lot of heavy hitters including Ronda Rousey, Shayna Baszler, Bobby Lashley, and Roman Reigns. I usually always go for my favorites during our draft picks and I have to say, I pretty much secured most of the wrestlers I wanted this time around!

Just imagine the amazing matches these superstars can put on. Shayna vs Ronda. Becky vs Asuka. Aj vs Ali. Randy vs Nick Aldis. They would definitely show up and show out! Most of my wrestlers can be paired up with pretty much anyone to have a high quality, 5-star match. Need your nightly entertainment to get you through just about anything? Dragon Wrestling Dungeon will go above and beyond your expectations. You can bet on that!

MS Paint Pro
Owner: Caro

Do you get tired of wrestling discourse? The thousands of tweets arguing over Roman Reigns and Kenny Omega? The mundane opinions that start with some variation of the phrase “Hot take, but” and then ratios galore rain down on your mentions?

Aren’t you tired of wrestling being 100% serious?

Don’t you want it to be fun?

That’s basically the premise of Microsoft Paint Pro Wrestling, or MSPW for short. It’s very much a comedy-based wrestling promotion that doesn’t take itself seriously, but houses the most talented wrestlers across the industry. I knew wrestlers like Kenny Omega, Kota Ibushi, the Young Bucks, and Riho had the right background to make this concept work, but I also picked wrestlers such as Zelina Vega and Xavier Woods who have exhibited their nerdiness proudly in the past. You could say it’s kind of like DDT, and while I was inspired by the presentation of their product, I decided to take it further and created a pseudo-universe within the promotion. Led by dual EVP/President, Windows 95’s Clippy takes on the reins as ringleader of the whole promotion, manipulating match results with algorithms and athletic wit! But there’s more to Clippy than meets the eye, and there’s something about his manner of speech that attracts mystery and wonder…….

That’s the beauty of all fiction, really. But with wrestling, something so silly, with botches or creative missteps, it’s not often there are these fantastical stories played out so precisely and perfectly, yet throughout wrestling history there are such things. Where in this morality play, we drop our guards and fall victim to the pretense, wool fully over our eyes as this performance becomes more than a joke, more than art – it becomes something so real that they have us like the magicians they are.

What separates us from the world these characters live in, is but a mere square, one that they can step through, and merge their world with ours with V-triggers pulled and pipe-bombs exploding. You watch, with that wanderlust, and you are grateful you get to live in this moment, a moment nobody can take from you. A memory defined.

But what about the matches beyond that scope? What about that little thing behind the curtain? It may not be common to those who grew up watching wrestling and having this fandom tattooed within their soul, but for those who haven’t spent their life watching it, for those who have just dipped their toes before diving into the water, these matches they don’t know become this beautiful myth.

For this feature today, I would like to show you the experiences I’ve had since I’ve fully entered the confines of professional wrestling as a fan. To the three legendary matches I’ve seen to the three fabled ones I’ve yet to watch.

Without further ado:

The Matches That I’ve Seen

“Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart (WrestleMania 13)

First off, before I became a fan again, I was under the impression that Austin and Hart were in two separate eras, never to have crossed paths. That they were two different people, in two different times. I was mistaken, for it was their feud that transitioned what was, to what was to be.To set the scene, in 1996 Bret Hart had taken a break from the World Wrestling Federation, and in his stead a Ringmaster shed his skin and became a Rattlesnake. An assassin befitting the attention of the Hitman. This was a man unlike most opponents that the Excellence of Execution had met in the ring before. This was a man who walked into his home while he was away, made love with his wife, and took this place for himself. This wasn’t a place for Bret anymore, it was Steve’s.

In summary, Bret would initially garner wins over this bald, angry redneck, until Austin would repeatedly screw over Hart. This came to a head at WrestleMania 13, in a match Austin didn’t have much experience in: a submission match. Despite this, he had not a single ounce of quit in him, no matter how tight a hold Hart would have on him. Not even assaults in and out of the ring as Hart became brutal and twisted, could stop Austin. This was not the Bret Hart we knew anymore. Soon, Austin wouldn’t be the same either. As the canvas was painted red with Austin’s blood, Bret did not let go. Austin didn’t tap, but he lost too much blood and passed out in the ring. There was no going back for either man; in what was a brilliant double-turn, it helped solidify Steve Austin’s legacy forevermore.

To me, this match didn’t have the men I grew up watching and admiring. This felt like an actual fight. When I watch it and revisit it now, it feels not like a classic WWF match, but something I would see in a New Japan Professional Wrestling match. I know that won’t make sense to some, but when I watch either this match or a NJPW match, I feel this link between the two.

Vader vs Sting (WCW Starrcade 1992, SuperBrawl III)

Growing up, I knew only of the Crow phase of Sting in WCW, and that carried to adulthood, when I visited the history of wrestlers that I didn’t know of. And I knew of Vader as the guy who was becoming less cool and intimidating in WWF, not knowing the kind of beast he was beforehand. Seeing these two in this manner was an experience that revealed a context that changed the way I saw both men.

Vader was an absolute demon, plucked from the depths of hell by Harley Race and let off the leash in WCW. This is the man who caused a riot in Japan after defeating local hero Antonio Inoki and a man who’s eyeball popped out of its socket mid-match and put it back in. The mere fact that he walked right into Starrcade ’92 in the King of Cable tournament final with a durag over his mask and nobody dared to stop him is proof enough. How would Sting fare against this?

As it would turn out, Sting fared pretty well against the crimson and dark behemoth. Without a durag, the smaller man seemed meek without the headwear, but alas, from the get-go the Stinger had a lot of fight in him. Despite Harley Race being in the way, Sting found the strength to survive many a Vader-Bomb until the very end when he was able to catch Vader as he jumped from the top turnbuckle and flipped him over like he was a distressed minimum-wage worker at McDonald’s during rush hour having to deal with mean customers. This burger-flip was followed up by Sting covering his fallen foe like a top hamburger bun. Dinner was served that night. No refunds.

Speaking of burgers, there was a White Castle of Feat Strap match in the main event of the next WCW pay-per-view, SuperBrawl III. But there were no burgers in this match. Just ketchup, a strap, and Harley Race, who was being a dastardly dandy, I tell you what! This match was every bit as brutal as most strap matches go. Yet, Sting persisted. Each slap of the leather made its painful impact. Despite there being a canvas, the painting of blood and welts on the bodies of the competitors served as a testament of how much this victory meant to both men. The strap itself was used creatively for the time as the future Icon used any means necessary to outlast Vader Time. Each touch of the ring posts gripping, every roar of the crowd amplified the magnitude.

Sting himself was carrying Vader like he was Atlas holding the world above him, looking just as superhuman as the leviathan that opposed him. Sting, as tenacious as he was, fought with every fiber of his body, however, Vader dragged his initially lifeless corpse across three ring posts, only to be denied at the fourth. It felt just inches away from his fingertips as the surfer with face paint clung for dear life on the bottom rope. Relenting for just this moment, Vader came to pry his prey from the clutches of safety, when all at once one defiant kick sent him back. Much to Sting’s chagrin, Vader landed on that damned vital fourth post and the match was lost to him.

These two matches happened just shortly after my own birth, yet they stand the test of time. Vader lived up to his non-WWF reputation and Sting established himself in my eyes as more than the gothic, foreboding scorpion man I grew to know and love. This was a story of brutality and the power of a hero to survive the odds. A classic, a piece of art, and simple yet not pretty.

John Cena vs CM Punk (Money in the Bank 2011)

This was on a pay-per-view that was not one of the “Big Four”, yet it was momentous all the same. At this time, I had stopped watching wrestling, spare from the occasional WrestleMania or Royal Rumble. So I missed out on this period until I discovered Punk’s “Pipebomb” promo and how it changed wrestling, scripted or not.

The Chicago crowd that night were electric, just as it was the night Punk came back to a wrestling ring for the first time since he left WWE in 2014 (or as he put it, 2005 in Ring of Honor). Most of the matches that night had chants for CM Punk. With a roar for the hometown hero in lieu of cheers, and with thundering boos from the corporately generated Superman, magic was made that night – though it pales in comparison to the night of August 20, 2021 when he emerged from the entrance tunnels of All Elite Wrestling in the United Center arena in his aforementioned hometown, to cheers and tears and a moment in history frozen in time for us to revisit time and time again, just as he did with Cena on this night.

Cena, still playing the “hero”, yet being the heel of the match, a force to overcome stood across the ring from the angry CM Punk, with the desire to leave that night with the belt as his contract expires. CM Punk told us everything we wanted to know about the company, so of course the world was on his side, save for the children who adored the purveyor of Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect. Cena could not keep CM Punk down, and CM Punk had troubles fully connecting his Go-To-Sleep finisher. Both men had a lot on the line that night. Punk had a statement to make, Cena had his job on the line. And Vincent Kennedy McMahon had the risk of his belt running away, a la Alundra Blayze during the Monday Night Wars.

As much as Vince loves bringing back the past, he tried to recreate the Montreal Screwjob, yet Cena refused to win that way, so when lackey John Laurinaitis ran to the bell, Cena laid him out and resumed his match. He was going to win or lose, fair and square. But, with multiple Attitude Adjustments, Punk would rise again and connect the Go-To-Sleep, finally, at last securing the victory to the deafening applause of the Chicago crowd, despite the interference from the Money in the Bank winner (who shall go unnamed in this feature) that night attempting to cash in – only to be laid out by Punk. The show ended with Punk blowing a kiss to Vince McMahon, as he left the arena with the belt and the Summer of Punk had begun. Finally, we won, the fans had won against this corporate empire as our hero, the voice of the voiceless stood against everything that was thrown at him.

This was not the CM Punk I remembered, the one who competed in WWE’s version of ECW. A man in a WWE product in front of hardcore ECW fans that embraced him. Yet, despite not knowing anything about him, I was on his side. This was what we all wanted to see, someone that wasn’t a chosen one. A decade later, I felt it, and I felt the magnitude of his importance on the industry when he made his ‘First Dance’ to AEW. I was not a part of this era, yet I connected to it all the same. And I am kicking my own ass for having so stubbornly have torn myself away because wrestling wasn’t for me at the time. I missed out.

Speaking of missing out:

The Matches That I Haven’t Seen

Kenny Omega vs Kazuchika Okada (2017-2018)

Around this time in my life, I had a glimpse into the world outside of WWE, where I was introduced to New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXSTV here in the United States. The Cleaner Kenny Omega stood with his sunglasses and his dark, yet blonde hair faced off against Tomohiro Ishii. I was introduced to this by my brother, who told me that this guy was going to be one of the best wrestlers in the world. That if he wanted to, he could main event WrestleMania. Thankfully that never came to happen – but in this moment, I was fascinated. The NJPW aesthetic that reminded me of the days of Monday Nitro and Monday Night Raw where my brother had watched in his youth. Yet I hadn’t watched since.

I still didn’t know much outside of WWE, save for TNA/Impact. I was convinced that if someone never appeared in WWE, they were not good. If they had left or were fired from WWE, they were not good. You would be correct in assuming I was an idiot.

This period of conflict between The Cleaner and Kazuchika Okada flew under my radar while I watched the Applebee’s waiter in Baron Corbin beat up Finn Balor every week and spent my time being mad at that because Balor deserved better. Maybe I like subjecting myself to pain, what’s it to you? Mind your business. Anyway, the world was praising each subsequent match to high heaven – including my brother. The likes of Steve Austin and Mick Foley were buzzing about it. Yet I didn’t know of what happened in the cerulean blue these nights. Yet I hope to. It’s what inspired this feature. Someday soon, I’ll see what everyone is talking about.

Kevin Steen vs El Generico (Ladder War, Ring of Honor: Final Battle 2012)

To think that these men earn the acclaim of many in WWE these days started from something so feral and intense when I hear of their ROH time in passing, I am curious, anxious even, to see these men ready to destroy each other.

AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura (Wrestle Kingdom 10)

Upon watching WrestleMania 34, I thought “hey, this match was great!” Then I looked at my brother and our friend, who were less enthused as I was. Saw on the internet that everyone else were also echoing the same energy. Not to mention, the crowd was quiet. WWE had led me to believe that this was a dream match on the grandest stage of them all! They wouldn’t lie to me or misdirect me, would they? …Would they?

They did. I was hearing of the Phenomenal One squaring off against the King of Strong Style in Japan – that their strong style history couldn’t be replicated in a big WWE ring. What’s worse is that Shinsuke struck AJ in the Phenomenal Ones and started off a heel turn that I’ve hated.

Contrast this to the highlight video I looked up of their previous bouts in Japan, and it is night and day. If anything, a good match by WWE was just advertisement for someone else’s product where I could see a better match someday.

Conclusion

Friends, I hope you’ve enjoyed this look into the mind of someone who hadn’t witnessed some of the biggest moments in wrestling, because with the wide history and world of wrestling, I know there is more. I will one day experience more of 90s AJPW, of the indie moments that made stars, and stories like that of the Golden Lovers. I will have experienced all of that without the quick summaries or highlight videos.

I will have not peeked behind the curtain – I will have yanked the whole damn thing off. And the beautiful thing is, so will so many others as they come into this thing that we love, especially with history being made weekly, monthly, yearly.

These moments cannot be replicated, and the moments to come won’t be either, so as a collective, we should absorb it and enjoy as the newbies drink it in with us.

We only get this once, so let’s make sure it is something worth revisiting, shall we?

At the climax of RevPro’s High Stakes event, Mark Davis and Kyle Fletcher, collectively known as Aussie Open, stunned the York Hall crowd by joining Will Ospreay’s United Empire. The pair fan favourites, they charged to the ring to save Shota Umino from a beatdown, only for Davis to shockingly lariat Shota’s head off his shoulders (causing me to jump around shouting like I’d just unwrapped a Nintendo 64 in 1997).

Dripping in gold, the trio holding 7 titles across their shoulders, the night ended with Aussie Open donning their United Empire shirts, and United Empire (and by proxy NJPW) gaining two of the best tag team wrestlers in the world. They’ve dominated Australia, they’ve dominated the UK, and now the pair are set to dominate Japan.

Speaking of dominating Japan, Mark Davis is a monster, aptly holding the moniker of Dunkzilla. Breaking bodies with his sickening piledriver Close Your Eyes and Count to Fuck, Davis is one of the few wrestlers on the planet with chops that could rival WALTER. Standing next to his larger partner, Kyle Fletcher is deceptively big himself. The Aussie Arrow’s arsenal includes a beautifully brutal spinning Michinoku Driver – his quick and sleek finesse bolstered with volatile explosiveness. Individually impressive, they’re far superior together, a violent calamity.

They are a tag-team through and through, competing across the globe as a duo. Unique and devastating team moves have led them to claiming tag gold the world over, including winning the RevPro British Tag Team Championships less than an hour before siding with Ospreay. World experience, Aussie Open defeated WWE’s Ilja Dragunov and WALTER to win the wXw World Tag Team Championships in Germany, but perhaps their crowning achievement was winning the PROGRESS Tag Team Championships in Wembley Arena.

Aussie Open are no strangers to NJPW, having already made their debut under the lion mark, in London at Royal Quest, where they unsuccessfully challenged Guerrillas of Destiny for the IWGP Tag Team Championships. Though they missed out on the titles at Royal Quest, Aussie Open hold the rare distinction of toppling the mighty Minoru Suzuki and Zack Sabre Jr. to win the RevPro British Tag Team Championships a few months prior. On other occasions they’ve gone to war against NJPW teams including EVIL and SANADA, Hiroshi Tanahashi and Juice Robinson, and Roppongi 3K.

Joining New Japan is long overdue for Aussie Open. Following Royal Quest, it seemed inevitable they would make their Japanese debuts shortly after, likely in World Tag League. Unfortunately, Mark Davis suffered an injury in September 2019, rupturing his MCL and tearing his ACL. If Aussie Open were set to make the trip to Japan that year it was no longer possible, and the pandemic months later only added more difficulties.

The potential for Davis and Fletcher in the cerulean blue New Japan ring is worthy of drooling over. The beastly Davis clashing with Shingo Takagi, Dunkzilla vs Dragon! The explosive Fletcher outmanoeuvring Kazuchika Okada, the Aussie Arrow darting through the rain! Aussie Open reigniting their rivalries with Suzuki-Gun and Bullet Club to overcome Dangerous Tekkers and Guerrillas of Destiny.

When World Tag League comes around again, Aussie Open winning the trophies in their tournament debut isn’t unrealistic. In fact, they could very well be favourites given their own prowess and the fantastic year United Empire are collectively having.

It has been a long time coming. Aussie Open are guaranteed future IWGP Tag Team Champions. Aussie Open are more than ready for NJPW. Crowns up.